Sunday, February 28, 2010

Preggers #2!!

Wow, I am extremely blessed. We have managed in the FIRST MONTH of trying (again!) to get pregnant with Baby Cooksey #2! I have been somewhat in a state of shock for the past few days. God is good!

Friday, I took Roo to pick out her COACH purse for her sweet 16 birthday. We went to eat at Los Portales. While we were there, she asked me if I'd tested yet. She was the only person I told that we were trying again. I told her no because I didn't really feel pregnant. I was just exhausted. I had been worn out for like three days straight. I was going to bed at 7:00 and passing out from tiredness! Anyway, I really didn't FEEL pregnant. She asked me what I felt before I knew I was pregnant with Raegan... and my first thought was "well... I didn't FEEL pregnant with her either!" Then, I realized, maybe I should test. It was a few days too early to test because my cycle was due for a few more days, but I bought them anyway and tested Friday evening when I got home. POSITIVE! At first, it was VERY light, and I had to get Joey to look at it with me. He saw the line, too. Over the course of five minutes, it gradually got darker. I tested again yesterday morning and this morning, too. All positive!

We're very excited but VERY nervous. We have our hands will with our one-year old! Adding another infant to the family is going to be difficult but rewarding in the end. I'd considered all of this before we started trying... but reality set in when I saw the two lines on the test. I had better learn more patience NOW!

I'm due November 5. That seems so soon to me. When I was pregnant with Raegan, it felt like a million years away because the pregnancy was split between two years and sooooo many holidays had to pass before having here. With this pregnancy, I've realized that I'm going to have a family of FOUR before THANKSGIVING! Maybe even Halloween! It's very surreal to me...

Joey and I are pretty dang sure this one will be a girl, too. Though, we hoped for a boy, we're going to be extremely happy with another girl. I mean, we already know what to do with girls, ya know! We've decided on names either way. If it's a girl, her name will be Adleigh Kiah. If it's a boy, his name will be Jensen Gage.

Of course, this puts our plans on moving on a big HOLD. We want to have the baby and make sure we're financially capable of paying for a new house before we rush into it. Thus, we've decided to do some major changes in our house. We're going to paint the outside, refloor the wood floors and put ceramic tile in the kitchen, replace the windows, paint all the trim in our house, etc etc... and then, of course, we'll have to paint the new baby's room, which is currently serving as our study. We now have to find a new area to put a desk. In due time, I guess.

We've already told our parents and close friends; however, I'm waiting to tell the administartion and students at my school until I have my first doctor's appointment... I'll call for that tomorrow.

All-in-all... we're super excited and ready for this wonderful gift from God!!

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Where has the time gone?

Well... Raegan is one. I can hardly believe it.

We celebrated her first birthday bash a few weekends ago. She was really in a "hold-me" mood; thus, she didn't play with the MANY friends that showed up. She didn't enjoy the smash cake as much as I thought she would, but I suppose that's a good thing. Having a toddler hyped up on sugar right when it's time for bed would NOT have been fun.

She's still not walking. She's been cruising for the past four months. She HAS, however, taken a few steps, but she doesn't seem to have any interest in furthering that amount. All in due time, I guess.

She has learned to clap. I'm assuming she's learned this at daycare. She recently got moved up to the one-year-old room. While at the pediatrician's office yesterday, we started singing "If you're happy and you know it..." and she clapped her hands! If I tell her to clap, she claps. She also dances to ALL songs. Raegan dancing consists of swaying her body from side-to-side, much like the "Twist." She loves music, and she loves to read. Her FAVORITE thing to do, however, is to throw things. She loves to come in her room after mommy has cleaned it up and tear everything out of its original, neat position and throw it or toss it somewhere else. By the end of the day, all of the books are off the bookshelf, along with every toy in reach. All small parts that go with specific toys are no longer by those toys. They have been tossed across the room. She has also learned to put the circle in the circle hole in her shape sorter. Sometimes she gets it, sometimes she doesn't, but she knows where it goes and tries to get it in.

She's still not speaking any real words. I know she understands "Mama," "Daddy," "Mimi," "Poppa," "dog," "clap," and "kitty" because she'll direct her attention to them if asked where they are. She also knows that the socks go on her feet because if she sees the socks and I pick her up, she'll immediately stick her foot out and point her toes to put the sock on.
Currently, she has a terrible ear infection. Her fever spiked up to 103.2 yesterday so we obviously took her to the pediatrician. He said that he's shocked it hasn't ruptured yet. She got a shot (what fun!) and is now on antibiotics. Last night was rough. I'm hoping tonite will be a little better now that the antibiotics have had time to set in and get to work.

My mom sent me a slideshow of Raegan's first year. It's amazing how much little one's grow in the first year! She's gone from completely dependent to wanting to do everything by herself. I can only imagine what this year has in store for us, but I'm not rushing it. I'm clinging to every little moment I have with her.

My grandma has had two strokes since Christmas. It's been very rough on our family because we're all so close to them. Reality is that we all die, but what I've really learned through this hard time is that the things we do right NOW affect the rest of our lifes. My Mamaw has struggled with her weight for as long as I can remember. She's always been the yo-yo dieter that never really sticks to any one thing and never exercises. In the end, she's always gone back to her unhealthy way of eating. I know that the things I do right now can make or break me when I get older. Of course, we're all going to die. It happens. But I want to live my life right now in a way that will prolong my life a little bit longer. Anyway, enough of that. The first stroke wasn't that bad. At least, we didn't see that it had too much of an affect on her, besides a slight slur in her speech. THIS stroke has been worse. I've gone to the hospital three times, and she doesn't seem to get any better at any visit. She's not speaking or responding. She's not attentive. All she wants to do is sleep. Perhaps it's the meds they have her on. I don't worry about her. I know that it's her time to see Jesus, and I'm excited for that; however, my Papaw and my dad are both going to be heartbroken once she moves on. I worry for them.

That's about all that's gone on in the recent past. Here's some pictures to keep you updated!!!


Enjoying her birthday cake
Raegan's First Birthday Cake

Raegan in her birthday tutu!



Saturday, January 16, 2010

This is a poem I wrote when I was a freshman at L.C., I think.. For those that don't know, my dad is legally blind and this a reflection of growing up and the struggles and bittersweet moments I went through with him as a child, teenager, and adult. Now, he is one of my greatest friends and a huge inspiration to me because of his disability and his persistence to be perceived as normal. Anyway, hope you like it.

Crimson and jade, the sky is a shade of cerulean blue;
Chocolate is sienna. “Those pants are an intense alabaster.”

Flowers, picked to die, hung with the brilliant orange sun catcher, waiting to dry.
“Daddy, they’re the shade of a slippery salmon. Aren’t they beautiful?”

“If they were alive.”

The golden beams of sunlight shining in your distinctly perfect eyes,
Never giving heed to the way things have always been
“Catch me daddy, you can’t find me”
I can hide from you anywhere.

You gaze into my school photos,
You call me gorgeous.
Hints of smile grace my pink cheeks.

“Daddy, Daddy! Look at me!”
Your ravishing little child, eager for approval,
Innocent, staring, still, into your perfect eyes.

Dirty lies,
A flip of the bird
Hushed words spoken in secretive anger
I can hide anything from you, and you’ll never see through me.

Hand on my shoulder, “Up three steps”
Classified as your seeing-eye bitch.
“Damnit it Dad… your pants and socks don’t match – those are black”

You take me by the hand, “Sweetheart, you look beautiful.”
As if you really know.

Removal, isolation,
The hidden bitterness before brown chocolate becomes sweet,
Blue with sadness,
Red with anger towards existence
Why am I your child?

And then,
Sweet confessions, my now humble heart breaks;
Tears corrode my gentle spirit like rust on wet cookie sheets,
Stained with childhood’s innocence.
Cookies, once baked, sprinkled with sweet crimson, jade, and cerulean blue candy confections.Your seemingly perfect eyes never saw them,

They never will.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

~20 Things about Me~

1. I am extremely impulsive: When I want something, I want it NOW.

2. I have been diagnosed as OCD: no cleaning up all the time (wouldn't that be nice?).. no putting things in neat rows... no. I count things. Great, isn't it? Count steps, stairs, etc... bleck.

3. I'm very moody. I'm up and down.

4. I am a kick-butt poker player: You wouldn't know that from looking at me, huh?

5. I have little patience: I seriously couldn't be a mom without my husband. Sometimes I just have to breathe. I thought I'd be a terrible teacher because of my lack of patience, but somehow I've kept my nerves calm.

6. I don't like a lot of kids: I'm NOT looking forward to birthday parties with a dozen seven-year-olds. Ick. I like MY kid. I like one or two kids. But give me more than that, and my lack of patience gets even worse.

7. I am a sugar-addict: My weakness is not cokes or potatoes or breads or meats.. my weakness is straight-up sugar. I love it... can't get enough of it.

8. I take a lot of pride in how I look...

9. Yet, I have terrible self-esteem issues.

10. I don't take medicine unless I absolutely HAVE to (prescribed).

11. I don't shower.... I bathe. Worry you for a second?

12. I have eczema, and it sucks. My daughter has it, too.

13. I have zero modesty.

14. I have to have chocolate in the morning.

15. I have a cyst on my toe.

16. I gained 80 pounds in my pregnancy, more than I've ever heard anyone else say they've gained.

17. I think Forrest Gump is one of the best movies of all time.

18. Christmas is my all-time favorite holiday. I wish it lasted for a few months.

19. My next child's name with either be: Adleigh Kaiya or Jensen Gage.

20. I love embarrassing my husband by cranking up the radio and dancing in my car while driving. It totally embarrasses him....

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Babbling

Life sure does go by much more quickly than it ever did when I was younger. I remember being fifteen, and sixteen couldn't get here fast enough. High school and college seemed to drag by while I was in it, but now that it's passed, it seems like it flashed by.

My pregnancy took forever. I never really enjoyed being pregnant. I have to admit, I did enjoy the attention. I never got as much attention as I did when I was pregnant. The only enjoyment I got out of being pregnant was being able to eat whatever I wanted to and get away with it. However, I look back on that "privilege" now and wish I hadn't taken advantage of it.

Now that Raegan is here, life goes by even more quickly; yet, I still find myself wishing it by. Do all mothers do that? I don't wish my daughter's life by... it's more like I keep anticipating the next phase. First it was smiling, then laughing, then rolling over, etc... When they're infants, we want them to walk, but when they start walking, we wish they'd slow down. I need to take more time daily to just reflect on today and enjoy the moment and phase she's in right NOW.

Teaching has really made time go by. As a first year teacher, I have been faced with many obstacles that other teachers deal with without a second thought. I've had multiple students suspended because of an office referral that I have written. I even had one student recommended to therapy! Sometimes I think I'm too compassionate for this job. I care too much about the future of each of my students. Is that possible? On one hand, what the students need is someone to genuinely care. On the other hand, I bring work home with me because of that empathy. I allow my nerves to get on edge. I lose patience. All because I want them to succeed. I know that not all of them with grasp their potential. They'll end up flipping burgers at McDonalds because they weren't shown or told enough that they're special and that they CAN achieve the unachievable. I look at my job as an opportunity to help students understand their potential and do their best to reach it, not just to teach them how to capitalize properly or write more eloquently. My job is more about life skills, morals, and values than it is reading and writing.

Being an example... that's what I have to be to both my daughter and my students. I feel like a terrible example. My students love me because I'm young and listen to the same music they do. What am I an example of? I honestly can't answer that. What do I want to be an example of? Success. Passion. Compassion. Most of all, the love of God. During a test yesterday, I had one of my more successful students ask if I could give easy tests like the one he was taking. "Ummm... no," I replied. To which my student said, "What Would Jesus Do?" I laughed it off, as this was in the middle of the test, and I did not want to distract my students from the test; however, after we'd graded and turned in the tests, I gave my reply to the student by saying "You know what the Bible says?" He, of course, replied, "What?" To which I answered, "God will never give you anything you can't handle." He looked at me, I think somewhat baffled by my response, and then he added, "I can handle tests like THIS," meaning that the other tests were harder and they were harder to study for. I thought about it for a moment and replied, "It also says that you should do EVERYTHING as if you are doing it for God." I had another student state, "Even homework." This is the reason I teach. This isn't the first time students have brought up God in my classroom, and I am blessed to work at a school where God is not shut out of the class. I will NEVER shut God out.

What kind of example am I to my daughter? We don't go to church regularly, though we should. My excuses for not going are pathetic. Joey, of course, can't go with us because he works every Sunday. I think being a Christian is supposed to be comfortable. The exact opposite, it should be uncomfortable. I don't go to church because I don't know anyone... That's the main reason I don't go often. I have yet to find a church where I am happy, but my happiness is dependent on the people there. Shouldn't it be on whether GOD is there? Can I worship there? I want my daughter to grow up in church. I want her to know who Jesus is. My parents recently started visiting a church. I've gone a few times, and I have really gotten sucked into the sermons for the first time in years. Sad, I know. I plan to keep visiting. I really want my daughter to be a Godly young lady and woman. The main example she has of this is me, and I'm not anywhere close to where I should be. I don't read my Bible. I don't pray as often as I should. I don't give God the time he deserves. How can I expect her to have a relationship with Christ if my relationship is completely lacking?

New Years: I have a lot of resolutions. Is it even good to make "resolutions"? All it is, is a goal or an opportunity isn't it? Well, my goals are, as I stated above, to be a better mother to my daughter, to continue to be a good wife, to re-ignite my relationship with God, to find a home Church and get involved, to continue to be the best teacher I can be, to move within the year, to lose the rest of my unwanted "privilege" fat, and to spend as much time with my family as I possibly can.

That's my babbling for now. Hope you enjoyed!!

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

~Santa Baby~

Christmas was AMAZING! We are blessed with such a wonderful family that really showered us all with so much love this holiday season! The BEST Christmases are the ones spent with family, and that's exactly what we did. Raegan made this Christmas better than it could've EVER been without her. We're so very blessed to have such a beautiful, loving family and, I must say, the most precious little gal in the WORLD! I really wish we'd taken more pictures throughout the holidays. I actually didn't take ONE picture at Mawmaw and Pawpaw Cooksey's house. Shame on me, I know! Here are some tidbits of our Christmas fun:

Raegan playing with most of her Christmas presents



Raegan on Christmas morning... can you tell she's excited!?
Christmas morning!!!



Christmas Eve: Raegan with her great-grandparents, Mamaw and Papaw Murphy. This is a picture I will cherish forever.




The Cooksey Family Christmas Tree! I LOVE it!!!
































Sunday, December 6, 2009

***Snow* and *Birthdays***

Well...well...well....

Who would've thought we'd get snow in Louisiana!? It was a surprise - a very delightful and enjoyed one too! My students were so excited about the idea of snow on Friday. It was absolutely beautiful. Though it was brief, seeing the snow flurries through the window while I ate dinner at Johnny Carinos with my family for my birthday just made it really feel like Christmas. It left a little thin blanket on the ground; however, that QUICKLY disappeared once the sun came up!

I think the one thing I really miss about living in Arkansas is the cold weather. I mean, in Arkansas you have a true summer and a true winter. In Louisiana, it's just... well... meh... that's the only thing I can say about Louisiana weather. I hate not being able to enjoy ALL of the seasons. Even Spring is hot. The only season that's even enjoyable is fall! Anyway, the snow was appreciated and enjoyed. Raegan didn't seem to know what to think about it; however, she's still not gotten the whole rain thing down yet.

Raegan tickles me to death every stinkin' day! She's definitely a morning baby. You could be the grouchiest person in the morning, and she'll cheer you up! It's a joy going to get her in the morning because I know she's going to be standing up in her crib just waiting for someone to peek into her room, only to greet you with a huge double tooth grin! She's a blessing! She's learned to share, somewhat. A few days ago, I sat on the couch with her and a handful of goldfish. I'd hand her a goldfish, and she'd put it in her mouth. After eating a few, she decided she was going to put the goldfish in MY mouth. So sweet..

My birthday was great. My students have been showering me with little odds and ends all week! I've gotten too many candles, some bath and body, cake, jolly ranches, etc... Joey got me the cell phone I wanted. I got it a week early so I didn't really have anything to open for my birthday, but he and I went out of town yesterday to celebrate. We initially intended on going to Natchitoches for the Festival of Lights. Actually, we DID go to Natchitoches, but after driving around in horrible traffic, not being able to find a parking spot, and only finding a parking spot in the ghetto of the ghetto, we decided that we'd rather not part there and have to struggle through finding our way back through the ghetto to our vehicle. So, instead, we found our way back to the interstate and went to Shreveport instead. We went to the Boardwalk and shopped for the remainder of our Christmas presents. I believe we're all done! Then, we ate at the Cheesecake Bistro. Can you say "YUMMMMY!" We stuffed ourselves and then topped it off with cheesecake! It was a fun day for us. It's not often we get time to ourselves.

Raegan got to go to a birthday party today. Christy's daughter, Kahlan, turned one, and Raegan got to wear a birthday party hat and eat cake and icecream (just a little, of course). She also helped Kahlan open all of her presents. I can tell Christmas is going to be a blast! She really loved tearing into the paper, and she especially loved all of the presents underneath the paper! Too bad they weren't hers to bring home!

Back to work for two weeks, and then I'm out for two weeks! I'm looking forward to it! I love my job... but I'm SOOO ready for a break!

love love love to all of our family and friends!!!