Babbling

Life sure does go by much more quickly than it ever did when I was younger. I remember being fifteen, and sixteen couldn't get here fast enough. High school and college seemed to drag by while I was in it, but now that it's passed, it seems like it flashed by.

My pregnancy took forever. I never really enjoyed being pregnant. I have to admit, I did enjoy the attention. I never got as much attention as I did when I was pregnant. The only enjoyment I got out of being pregnant was being able to eat whatever I wanted to and get away with it. However, I look back on that "privilege" now and wish I hadn't taken advantage of it.

Now that Raegan is here, life goes by even more quickly; yet, I still find myself wishing it by. Do all mothers do that? I don't wish my daughter's life by... it's more like I keep anticipating the next phase. First it was smiling, then laughing, then rolling over, etc... When they're infants, we want them to walk, but when they start walking, we wish they'd slow down. I need to take more time daily to just reflect on today and enjoy the moment and phase she's in right NOW.

Teaching has really made time go by. As a first year teacher, I have been faced with many obstacles that other teachers deal with without a second thought. I've had multiple students suspended because of an office referral that I have written. I even had one student recommended to therapy! Sometimes I think I'm too compassionate for this job. I care too much about the future of each of my students. Is that possible? On one hand, what the students need is someone to genuinely care. On the other hand, I bring work home with me because of that empathy. I allow my nerves to get on edge. I lose patience. All because I want them to succeed. I know that not all of them with grasp their potential. They'll end up flipping burgers at McDonalds because they weren't shown or told enough that they're special and that they CAN achieve the unachievable. I look at my job as an opportunity to help students understand their potential and do their best to reach it, not just to teach them how to capitalize properly or write more eloquently. My job is more about life skills, morals, and values than it is reading and writing.

Being an example... that's what I have to be to both my daughter and my students. I feel like a terrible example. My students love me because I'm young and listen to the same music they do. What am I an example of? I honestly can't answer that. What do I want to be an example of? Success. Passion. Compassion. Most of all, the love of God. During a test yesterday, I had one of my more successful students ask if I could give easy tests like the one he was taking. "Ummm... no," I replied. To which my student said, "What Would Jesus Do?" I laughed it off, as this was in the middle of the test, and I did not want to distract my students from the test; however, after we'd graded and turned in the tests, I gave my reply to the student by saying "You know what the Bible says?" He, of course, replied, "What?" To which I answered, "God will never give you anything you can't handle." He looked at me, I think somewhat baffled by my response, and then he added, "I can handle tests like THIS," meaning that the other tests were harder and they were harder to study for. I thought about it for a moment and replied, "It also says that you should do EVERYTHING as if you are doing it for God." I had another student state, "Even homework." This is the reason I teach. This isn't the first time students have brought up God in my classroom, and I am blessed to work at a school where God is not shut out of the class. I will NEVER shut God out.

What kind of example am I to my daughter? We don't go to church regularly, though we should. My excuses for not going are pathetic. Joey, of course, can't go with us because he works every Sunday. I think being a Christian is supposed to be comfortable. The exact opposite, it should be uncomfortable. I don't go to church because I don't know anyone... That's the main reason I don't go often. I have yet to find a church where I am happy, but my happiness is dependent on the people there. Shouldn't it be on whether GOD is there? Can I worship there? I want my daughter to grow up in church. I want her to know who Jesus is. My parents recently started visiting a church. I've gone a few times, and I have really gotten sucked into the sermons for the first time in years. Sad, I know. I plan to keep visiting. I really want my daughter to be a Godly young lady and woman. The main example she has of this is me, and I'm not anywhere close to where I should be. I don't read my Bible. I don't pray as often as I should. I don't give God the time he deserves. How can I expect her to have a relationship with Christ if my relationship is completely lacking?

New Years: I have a lot of resolutions. Is it even good to make "resolutions"? All it is, is a goal or an opportunity isn't it? Well, my goals are, as I stated above, to be a better mother to my daughter, to continue to be a good wife, to re-ignite my relationship with God, to find a home Church and get involved, to continue to be the best teacher I can be, to move within the year, to lose the rest of my unwanted "privilege" fat, and to spend as much time with my family as I possibly can.

That's my babbling for now. Hope you enjoyed!!

~Santa Baby~

Christmas was AMAZING! We are blessed with such a wonderful family that really showered us all with so much love this holiday season! The BEST Christmases are the ones spent with family, and that's exactly what we did. Raegan made this Christmas better than it could've EVER been without her. We're so very blessed to have such a beautiful, loving family and, I must say, the most precious little gal in the WORLD! I really wish we'd taken more pictures throughout the holidays. I actually didn't take ONE picture at Mawmaw and Pawpaw Cooksey's house. Shame on me, I know! Here are some tidbits of our Christmas fun:

Raegan playing with most of her Christmas presents

Raegan on Christmas morning... can you tell she's excited!?

Christmas morning!!!

Christmas Eve: Raegan with her great-grandparents, Mamaw and Papaw Murphy. This is a picture I will cherish forever.

The Cooksey Family Christmas Tree! I LOVE it!!!

***Snow* and *Birthdays***

Well...well...well....

Who would've thought we'd get snow in Louisiana!? It was a surprise - a very delightful and enjoyed one too! My students were so excited about the idea of snow on Friday. It was absolutely beautiful. Though it was brief, seeing the snow flurries through the window while I ate dinner at Johnny Carinos with my family for my birthday just made it really feel like Christmas. It left a little thin blanket on the ground; however, that QUICKLY disappeared once the sun came up!

I think the one thing I really miss about living in Arkansas is the cold weather. I mean, in Arkansas you have a true summer and a true winter. In Louisiana, it's just... well... meh... that's the only thing I can say about Louisiana weather. I hate not being able to enjoy ALL of the seasons. Even Spring is hot. The only season that's even enjoyable is fall! Anyway, the snow was appreciated and enjoyed. Raegan didn't seem to know what to think about it; however, she's still not gotten the whole rain thing down yet.

Raegan tickles me to death every stinkin' day! She's definitely a morning baby. You could be the grouchiest person in the morning, and she'll cheer you up! It's a joy going to get her in the morning because I know she's going to be standing up in her crib just waiting for someone to peek into her room, only to greet you with a huge double tooth grin! She's a blessing! She's learned to share, somewhat. A few days ago, I sat on the couch with her and a handful of goldfish. I'd hand her a goldfish, and she'd put it in her mouth. After eating a few, she decided she was going to put the goldfish in MY mouth. So sweet..

My birthday was great. My students have been showering me with little odds and ends all week! I've gotten too many candles, some bath and body, cake, jolly ranches, etc... Joey got me the cell phone I wanted. I got it a week early so I didn't really have anything to open for my birthday, but he and I went out of town yesterday to celebrate. We initially intended on going to Natchitoches for the Festival of Lights. Actually, we DID go to Natchitoches, but after driving around in horrible traffic, not being able to find a parking spot, and only finding a parking spot in the ghetto of the ghetto, we decided that we'd rather not part there and have to struggle through finding our way back through the ghetto to our vehicle. So, instead, we found our way back to the interstate and went to Shreveport instead. We went to the Boardwalk and shopped for the remainder of our Christmas presents. I believe we're all done! Then, we ate at the Cheesecake Bistro. Can you say "YUMMMMY!" We stuffed ourselves and then topped it off with cheesecake! It was a fun day for us. It's not often we get time to ourselves.

Raegan got to go to a birthday party today. Christy's daughter, Kahlan, turned one, and Raegan got to wear a birthday party hat and eat cake and icecream (just a little, of course). She also helped Kahlan open all of her presents. I can tell Christmas is going to be a blast! She really loved tearing into the paper, and she especially loved all of the presents underneath the paper! Too bad they weren't hers to bring home!

Back to work for two weeks, and then I'm out for two weeks! I'm looking forward to it! I love my job... but I'm SOOO ready for a break!

love love love to all of our family and friends!!!

Thanksgiving!

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving! We woke up at 4 a.m. (thank you Raegan), and we left around 10 to head to Natchitoches for our annual Murphy family Thanksgiving. This usually is more like a family reunion for us, and though it was wonderful, and the food was great, there was not even half the amount of people we usually have. Regardless, Raegan was a perfect angel on the drive there and back AND while we were there! Unfortunately, she was taking her nap during meal time so she didn't get to eat with us, but she did get to have Thanksgiving dinner on Wednesday night at my cousin's house. And, yes, she liked it!

I am thankful

Thanksgiving week!

We're out of school, thank goodness. Don't get me wrong: I absolutely LOVE my job, but the wonderful breaks are one of the many reasons why I love it! :)

I went Christmas shopping today. I bought Raegan four presents: a learning farm, an electronic book that has a piano and microphone on it, a sort-a-shape blender thing, and some bathtime fun toys. I think that'll be plenty for her first Christmas! Of course, her grandparents will probably lavish her with even more stuff to crowd her room!

We had dad's surprise 50th birthday party last night! It was a blast! He was genuinely surprised, and he loved the cd that Marissa and I made for him!

I wanted to take a few moments to state some things that I'm VERY thankful for. So often we forget to be thankful EVERY day. I believe we need to wake up each morning thankful for being alive. In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I'd like to share what I'm thankful for:

It goes without saying that I am absolutely thankful for my daughter. This really is a thankfulness that God has blessed me with the ability to even have children! There are so many people who don't have that ability, and I can never express how thankful I am that having children isn't an issue for me. Raegan is my joy every morning. She brings a smile to my face. I can't imagine life without her, though I lived without her for sooo long.

I am BEYOND thankful for my husband. There are so many dads out there that don't take all of the responsibilities, especially with infants. Joey works twelve to fourteen hour shifts and STILL comes home and helps with the housework, cooking, and puts Raegan to bed. He spends quality time with her EVERY day, and he never sets her aside to do something "more important" or something he'd rather do. He emerses himself in her life and has as much to do with raising her as I do. I always tell him that I could NEVER be a single parent. He makes up for my lack of patience. When I get worn down, he steps in and takes over. Many nights, he wakes up with her and doesn't even ask me to get up, just because he wants me to get my sleep... though he usually gets wayyyyy less sleep than I. I am SO thankful for him.

Though my home is not everything I want, it is everything I NEED right now. I am thankful for the blessings of income that God has given us. Though neither of us make an enormous amount, it is still enough to pay for our bills and put a little into ourselves and Raegan. We are truely blessed.

I am thankful for my mom. She is my best friend and the only person (besides Joey) that I tell everything to. She is my confidante. She is ALMOST as much a part of Raegan's life as Joey and I are! She is in love with her and forces herself in her life. I wouldn't have it any other way. She has done so much to help us since Raegan has been here. She brings us dinner from time to time. She takes Raegan to daycare EVERY morning. She takes off work when Raegan is sick. She has been there for us from the beginning.

I am immensely grateful to BOTH of my parents for raising me in a Christian home. Since I have begun teaching, I have learned a lot about the influence of home life on children. Seeing how some of these children behave due to how they have been raised has really made me appreciate even more the Christ-like attitude my parents exemplify on a daily basis and makes me strive to be the same Godly example in Raegan's life.

Lastly, but MOST importantly, I am so thankful for Christ's sacrifice on the cross to save me. I fall short daily on being the woman he wants me to be, but thanks to the suffering of my Jesus Christ, I am forgiven and promised eternal life, despite my shortcomings. I can NEVER truely express my love and gratitude for His gift to me. I only hope that in some small way, I can make him proud by the way I live my life, love my family, and raise my children to love Christ too.

Christmas already!?

So Joey and I decided to decorate our house for Christmas the other day! Raegan got into the tree at first, but she's grown accustomed to it already, and she hasn't messed with it over the past few days. She DID, however, REALLY want to help with the glass ornaments. Much to my dismay, we're missing a lot of our decorations. I suppose I'd forgotten about throwing some of them away last year due to stains and breakage and so forth. Now I have to buy some new stuff, but I LOVE LOVE LOVE Christmas shopping!

I can NOT believe that Christmas is only like six weeks away. Joey and I have decided to buy Raegan a Fisher Price fun farm. It's a very interactive little farm that teaches numbers, colors, letters, etc. It's one of the more expensive toys on the market so we'll probably only get her a FEW small things to go with it. I'm sure once all the presents are under the tree, Raegan will get into it more, seeing as how those will be at her level. I'd also like to get her a baby drum. Most of you know that Joey is a drummer, and we've noticed that Raegan (probably like most babies) LOVES to beat on things. She loves any kind of container that she can bang her hands on or spoons on. Recently, we've been giving her pots and spoons to bang with. You can bet that daddy LOVES her following in his footsteps. I think it's pretty scary!! :)

Our three day weekend was nice. Raegan is still getting over her pneumonia. She is no longer throwing up her formula. Instead, she's decided that she wants ONLY formula: no baby food, no puffs, no sippy, no juice, just formula. What's worse is that she wants it at night too! We haven't had to wake up with her at night since she was four months old! Needless to say, Joey and I are both under-rested. On top of waking up twice a night to eat, she cries and cries and cries because she has one tooth for sure coming in. We're pretty sure her two top teeth are pushing their way towards the surface as well. She doesn't want to sleep in her crib. It's sleep with us or no sleep at all. Talk about miserable. Even though we enjoyed our weekend, I'm VERY ready to get started with the week, mainly to get it over with because I'm out the next week for Thanksgiving break! Oh, the joys of being a teacher!!! Then, three weeks of school and then we'll be out for two weeks!

She has also gotten to a stage of wanting to keep her paci in her mouth ALL day long. I suppose it's because of the teething. She doesn't suck on it as much as she actually just chews on it. Her first tooth wasn't nearly as rough as this one has been. For the first tooth, she fussed a LITTLE and had a small fever.. that's it. Not with this one! I'm looking forward to them all being in; however, I don't think that happens until she's more around TWO!

Which leads me to a small announcement: Joey and I have decided to start trying for another little one in a few months... possibly around Raegan's first birthday in February. We've decided that we want them close, and we want to have all of our children early so that we have an empty nest even earlier :) Won't that be nice? I'm NOT looking forward to the idea of being pregnant again; nor am I looking forward to the idea of having two under two, but I think, in the long run, it'll make Raegan and her little brother/sister closer. It'll be tough at first, but eventually they'll be able to entertain each other. I'm still on a weight loss journey from having Raegan. I gained 80 pounds in my pregnancy with her, and I'm determined to make my next pregnancy a healthy gain of only 30-35 pounds... that's less than HALF of what I gained with her. However, I currently am weighing 195 (which is 45 pounds lost since having Raegan), and I want to be 185 before trying for another one. That's my goal... so I may post on here from time to town how my weightloss is going. Joey and I have agreed that we'll start trying once I hit that weight. We also have some financial debts that we're working on getting paid off. With tax refunds, we should be able to eliminate a few. Plus, in the summer, I plan on taking Raegan out of daycare which will save 440 dollars per month! That'll REALLY help us eliminate some of our bills. We have SOOO many bills that are SOOOO close to being paid off... we can basically TASTE it! We're looking forward to deleting some of them, which will give us more flexibility for another little one. We're also hoping that Raegan will be at the potty-training stage around 18 months so that we don't have two in diapers.

Well, that's my update for now! Here are my belated Halloween pictures and some of Raegan's professional 8 month portraits:

Fussy, Fussy, Fussy!!!

Raegan has been incredibly fussy these past few days. She's getting over her pneumonia, but she's now teething double (if not triple)! She's DEFINITELY got one tooth that I wouldn't be surprised if it broke through tonight. When I got to daycare to pick her up today, she was SO sweet! She got very excited, and then when I picked her up, she gave me sugar. She basically opens her mouth, says "Ahhh," and puts her mouth on mine. It's SOOOO cute. HOWEVER, when we got home, all she did was fuss. I assumed she was hungry, so I gave her some puffs... which she threw all over the place. (The suction bowls are not working...) She cried and cried and cried. I tried juice... I tried orajel... I tried teething tablets and tylenol. LOL! She wouldn't sleep. The only thing I could do was give her the bottle. After her last bottle of the day, it's bedtime. So, she went to bed at FIVE o'clock this evening! Oh my goodness! I suppose it is the teething! I can't imagine going through this more than once, and she only has one tooth! She wasn't NEARLY as fussy with it though!

I went to the doctor and found out I have a sinus infection. Lucky me, they put me on prednisone. Ok, that was sarcasm. I hate being on steroids. Hopefully this crap will go away soon and not come back!! Poor Raegan tries to give me love every evening (excluding this one, hehe), and I have to turn my face. She isn't satisfied with a cheek though. She wants the lip action!

I'm off work tomorrow. Raegan has her nine month shots. I missed her six month shots because of work, but there are a lot of things I want to discuss with the pediatrician about now through her one year birthday, which is the next time she'll be in. There are a lot of transitions coming up with her: switching to milk, switching to sippy, switching to three meals-per-day, switching to more table food, etc... I'll have a nice looooong chat with her pediatrician tomorrow!

I'm really looking forward to the holidays! For some reason, I have the constant urge to start decorating ALREADY! I bought a few ornaments at Hobby Lobby last weekend. They're bird ornaments, and they are absolutely GORGEOUS! I do believe birds ornaments are going to be my "thing." I'm really itching to get my tree up so I can put my birds on it! I'm struggling with deciding what to get Raegan for Christmas. Any ideas are welcome! She won't be a year yet, and her birthday is coming up in a few months... I'd like to buy her some things that are a little past her current age.. ya know... more like 12-18 month toys that she can play with more in the future. I don't expect her to really get into Christmas this year, but we'll have fun getting "into" it for her! My mom has already written a LIST of things to buy her. That's right, a list. Can you guess who spoils her the most? :)